The Dime: Week 9

Thursday Night Sleepers

The Jaguars can barely get their own fans to attend games, ranking 9th lowest in attendance, so what makes the NFL think we want to watch them on TV? The Washington Generals are more competitive than the Jags have been this season. 

There are sports idiots in this world that will say, the Jaguars suck so bad that the Alabama Crimson Tide can beat them. No, the Jaguars aren’t that bad. They’d destroy 'Bama in a game, but the fact that sports idiots know that the Jaguars are a terrible team should be enough reason for NFL experts and ratings masters to know not to ever put the Jags on TV.


Orlando Scandrick in the Spotlight

Scandrick went to Atlanta like it was still Halloween and decided to dress up as a terrible NFL cornerback. Scandrick’s biggest errors came during money time in the final minutes of the fourth quarter.



First, he missed an easy tackle on Jacquizz Rodgers on third and six from the Falcons 24, and Rodgers ending up running for 31 yards. A few plays later, on third down again, Scandrick was called for a defensive holding penalty that also extended the Falcons’ drive.  The Falcons burned the clock and kicked a field goal to put the game out of reach. Scandrick had this to say about his performance,

“I’m more upset with the missed tackle. The holding penalty, I was competing trying to get off the field. When it came down to that, it was like a dogfight when it comes to third down. It’s just very upsetting. My first penalty and my first missed tackle of the season come in one game, in a crucial part of the game. I don’t have any excuses. I accept full responsibility. I’m not one to make excuses. I’ll bounce back. I’ll continue to work hard. I’ll work harder on those things, getting my hand placement, my feet in great tackling position and won’t let it happen again.”


We’ve Seen This Atlanta Falcons Movie Before

The Atlanta Falcons are the NFL’s lone undefeated team, but no one is giving them any respect. Why? It’s because we’ve come to expect this from the “Dirty Birds.” In 2010, the team went 13-3 and lost their first playoff game. Last year, the Falcons went 10-6 and also lost their first playoff game.

Right now, the Falcons are nothing more than regular season warriors with no post-season prowess, and seeing them struggle against the Panthers and Raiders earlier in the season isn’t changing my mind. The last two teams to win the Super Bowl were the last teams to qualify for playoffs in the NFC, the 2010 Packers with a 10 – 6 record and the 2011 Giants with a 9-7 record.

Expecting the Falcons to do anything in the playoffs is like expecting Dr. Dre to really drop “Detox.” You know it’s not happening, but just in case it is happening, you’re sure as hell not believing it until you see it.



Peace Out Sean Payton?

Thanks to a loophole in Sean Payton’s contract that states if New Orleans Saint’s GM Mickey Loomis is ever fired or suspended, that his contract will be voided. So now, Payton is free to coach wherever he likes after this season.

Will he comeback to restore his name in New Orleans or will Dallas Cowboys owner, Jerry Jones, fire the current head coach, Jason Garrett and hire Payton?

Payton ain’t coming back to New Orleans. Have you seen their defense play, bruh?  Also, Payton is the head coach of the Saints but he lives in Dallas. He’d rather live in Dallas than New Orleans! If he would rather live in Dallas, then he’d probably rather work in Dallas too. Plus, Texas doesn’t have a state tax either. We all know Sean Payton is about that money.


Chuck Pagano Chokes Us Up

The Indianapolis Colts got rid of their quarterback, head coach and general manager last season. This season, the Colts are 5-3 with their star rookie quarterback, Andrew Luck, but WITHOUT their rookie head coach, Chuck Pagano. Pagno was diagnosed with leukemia just three games into the season and left the team for treatment the first week of October. He visited his players for the first time yesterday and spoke to them after the game.


*just finished praying for Pagano, about to go run through a brick wall for him now*


Cam vs. RGIII

The media hypes up the fact the Andrew Luck and Robert Griffin III were the first two picks of the 2012 NFL draft, in hopes of a Magic Johnson vs. Larry Bird-esque rivalry between the two. With all of the parity in the NFL, the chances of Luck and Griffin III meeting in two Super Bowls is highly unlikely. What is likely, is that Newton and Griffin III will face off several times in their careers, since they both play in the same conference.

Will someone tell RGIII, who’d rather be compared to Aaron Rodgers than Cam Newton, that on some level he’ll always be compared to other “black” quarterbacks. Not saying it’s right, but that’s just the way it’s going to be. Plus, no one is going to think he’s Aaron Rodgers  when he has braids looking like O-Dogg from Boyz In the Hood.


The Autumn Wind Is A Pirate

The late, great Steve Sabol wrote the amazing poem, “The Autumn Wind.” In it, he says,

“The Autumn wind is a pirateblustering in from sea…the autumn wind is a Raider, pillaging just for fun. He'll knock you 'round and upside down. And laugh when he's conquered and won.”

The autumn wind in Oakland yesterday was indeed a pirate, it just wasn’t an Oakland Raider, it was Tampa Bay Buccaneers rookie, Doug Martin. The rookie running back chopped off touchdown runs of 1, 45, 67 and 70 yards on the Raiders yesterday to the tune of 51 fantasy football points and a Bucs victory.


Throw These Back Please

Last week, the Steelers wore their 1933 throwbacks uniforms and yesterday the Washington Redskins rocked their 1937 throwback uniforms.

What I’ve learned the past two weeks is that any NFL uniform worn in the 1930s is something that will hurt your eyes, prove to you that crack kills, convince you that the “designers” of these uniforms had to be on crack and that you can conquer a Rubik’s cube before you figure out why NFL teams are still wearing these uniforms today.


Andrew Luck Is….       

Not lucky, he’s just that good. He set a rookie passing record on Sunday, passing for 433 yards with two touchdowns and no picks. He went 30 for 48 on the day and was 13 of 19 on third downs.

He broke Cam Newton’s rookie record of 422 yards last year. The only difference is that Luck’s team won and Cam’s didn’t.


The Eagles remind me of that 8th Grade basketball team

Do you remember that 8th grade basketball team that looked great in warm ups, but turned out to be a totally different team once the game started. After the game started, they looked unorganized, uncoachable, individually talented but terrible as a team.

If you watched the game Monday Night, you saw the Eagles’ terrible offensive line play, dropped passes, bad passes, and atrocious defense. The Eagles lost as a team. Of course it wasn’t all Michael Vick’s fault, at least his brother Marcus Vick didn’t think so

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