Ten Rap Lyrics Marco Rubio Should Have Used In Congress

It’s common in hip-hop for rappers to use each other’s lines in their verses or songs. Jay-Z often pays homage to his fallen homie Notorious B.I.G. by dropping a Biggie line in his verses.

Pimp C once said, “I got kids in the ’burbs sippin’ on syrup.” Whether or not this statement is true, hip-hop has come full circle and is easily the most popular music genre in America. It’s so popular that lines are being quoted in Congress. Florida Senator Marc Rubio was dropping Wiz Khalifa and Jay-Z lines during a filibuster, last week. Rubio was defending Kentucky Senator, Rand Paul, who was filibustering President Obama’s nomination of John Brennan as CIA director because of the potential legal drone assassinations.

I get where Rubio was going with these lines , but here are 10 lines he should have used instead.

10. “I’ma worry about me, give a f*ck about you. N*gga just as a reminder to myself, I wear every single chain even when I’m in the house.” – Drake, “Started From the Bottom”

Rubio is the first Cuban American to become Speaker of the Florida House of Representatives. So it’s easy to see him in All Gold Everything a la Tony Montana.

9. “’Pac gone, but the “Juice” back, get your popcorn, juice, snacks. It’s a movie n*gga, with a new cast.” – A$AP Rocky, “LVL”

Rubio has stated that ’Pac is his favorite rapper and after getting spanked in the 2012 elections, Rubio is supposed to be the face of the new cast of Republicans.

8. “High class, I’m just surrounded by these lowlifes, and I run this bitch like it’s no lights, going hard my whole life ’cause I ain’t going back to my old life, I promise.” – Big Sean, “I Don’t Like (Remix)”

Rubio didn’t have life handed to him on a silver platter. His parents struggled when they initially came from Cuba. I’m sure Rubio feels every single syllable in this Big Sean line.

7. “I watch my mama struggle, now I’m living carefree.” – Rick Ross, “Bugatti”

Unlike some politicians, Rubio had to grind for his to become a U.S. senator.

6. “Welcome to Jamdown. Poor people a dead at random. Political violence, can’t done! Pure ghost and phantom.” – Damian Marley, “Welcome to Jamrock”

The whole legal drone assassination issue has political violence written all over it.

5. Now blow up, blow up, hold up . I've seen your kind before: See me as a dollar sign. Till I resign or you report that I done you wrong, and I mean to know .” – Kendrick Lamar, “The Spiteful Chant”

The Spiteful chant says it all.

4. “To take over JP and Morgan, Goldman and Sachs and teach the world facts, and give Saudi they oil back.” – Nas, “No Introduction”

Republicans and their oil, I tell ya.

3. “Bush robbed all of us, would that make him a criminal? And then he cheated in Florida, what that make him? A Seminole?” – Young Jeezy, “My President”

Rubio said that if Bush were still in office, his question to President Obama wouldn’t have gone unanswered. I think that’s debatable, but what’s not is the clear subliminal jab that Rubio, a Florida Gator graduate, gave to the Florida State Seminoles for their cheating scandal. Well played, Rubio. Well played.

2. “On my way to Aspen. I forgot to do my taxes. Call up my accountant, he gon’ make it do magic.” – Future, “Magic”

Well in 2010, the IRS was investigating Rubio for his using the Republican Party credit card to charge over $100k in personal expenses. The case was dismissed.

1. “Yeah, I’m talking business. We talking CIA. I’m talking George Tenet. I seen him the other day.” Kanye West, “Clique”

This line is gold because it’s the most relevant to the situation. The whole damn four-hour filibuster was about the newly nominated CIA director, John Brennan.

Back to top