Prison Lover Gives Insight Into Aaron Hernandez’ Tortured Soul

The saga of former NFL star Aaron Hernandez continues to grow legs even in his death.  

Rest in peace? Nope. They just won’t let him. 

Back in 2017, after being acquitted of a double murder and then convicted of the murder of his supposed friend Odin Lloyd, Hernandez, 27, allegedly hung himself in prison. Police say he was found hanging from a bedsheet at the Souza-Baranowski Correctional Center in Shirley, Mass. 

Hidden Demons

Hernandez’s sad story has been covered plenty, but there’s still a lot of questions surrounding his mental health at the time, as he was diagnosed to have the worst case of CTE doctors had ever seen in a man his age. 

His childhood also played a huge part in who he would become as his father passed away when he was 16 and that’s when he turned to drugs. 

Reports say he was also a closet homosexual, who according to Kennedy, had been abused as a child, which further added to the inner-turmoil that he was obviously experiencing while performing at an All-Pro level for the New England Patriots. 

We are finding out that Hernandez was more than just a crazed murderer living a double life. He was experiencing real mental issues while trying to be the superhero that NFL players are often perceived as. 

Prison Lover reports that in the new book, Aaron Hernandez’s Killing Fields,  investigative journalist and author Dylan Howard published a letter Hernandez wrote to Kennedy, who went public with their prison relationship after the star’s suicide in 2017.

The letter hinted at a revelation Hernandez reached after the two lovers began a relationship.

“I just wanted to tell you this morning that I love you. You never have to question us. I will stop questioning you and us. I realized through our thing over the past few days how much I love you and how much I want you and us,” the book claimed Hernandez wrote.

In the letter, Hernandez confessed to struggling with his own demons – and even hinted at suicide, which he would actually carry out. 

The jailhouse note included Hernandez’s wish to be closer to Kennedy. He also implied that his relationship with Kennedy within the confines of the Souza-Baranowski Correctional Center in Massachusetts was keeping him from going crazy. 

“I miss you so much. You should be awake, knowing you sleep all f**King day, LOL. I just wish we were cellmates, so I could at least kiss you on the forehead and say I love you. Then let you sleep while I make sure you have your coffee ready when you wake up,” Hernandez continued.

Read the entire letter below: 

“I just wanted to tell you this morning that I love you. You never have to question us. I will stop questioning you and us. I realized through our thing over the past few days how much I love you and how much I want you and us. Mainly how I want you [to] know what real love, real loyalty is, and to experience someone who is with you through everything in life. We will have ups and downs. Times of some pain and suffering, but together we will make it right. I’m sorry for overreacting, but it’s something I have to work on, because I’m used to being done dirty my whole life.

“I know I have my own issues as we all do, but you could always keep it real with me too. It will help me grow too. Just know I’m here for you to help you through everything in life. I’ve got your back, your front, your side, and you for eternity. I know I’m going to go through hell dealing with you in life, but I can’t even give up on you, because that’s the type of love I have. 

Now you see why love is my weakness in life and how I go so far for the ones I have love for. All your issues are and will always be my issues. We will try to avoid all with respect, but if your crazy mouth gets you into s**t, I’ll be there always, even though I’m going to want to beat your a** after, LOL. Never question me or hide anything. That’s all I ask. I got you.

The letter hints at a vulnerable man, who is still trying to develop loving relationships while facing life in prison for malicious murders. It gives us more insight into a player who we really didn’t know at all.

The Aaron Hernandez chapter is closed in the minds of most people — especially those who played with him,  coached him, befriended him and were allegedly betrayed by him. However, a true understanding of the man is just beginning. 

The Other Side: 4 Bodies

While the love letters reflect Hernandez’s humanly instinctive desire and ability to love, Howard also writes that Hernandez bragged to his cellmate that he was responsible for the murder of not three but four people.

“[Aaron] always used to tell me he had four murders,” Kyle Kennedy told Howard. “He would just always, all the time joke around saying, ‘I got four bodies.’”

His actions were savage in nature on the field and at times off, but maybe he wasn’t totally a monster. At the very least, his split personality shows that he had deep emotional issues that were never addressed.  

Much can be learned from Hernandez’s life and his tragic demise still leaves a curious and bitter taste in the mouths of those people who continue piecing together a puzzle that will give everyone a true understanding of the former NFL star. 

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