Jalen Rose Sucks Worse At “Jeopardy!” Than He Does At Golf | The Fab Fiver Not Fabulous At Trivia

Jalen Rose should never set foot on the set of “Jeopardy!” ever again. Rose’s appearance on the celebrity derivative of the show was so horrendous that it was reminiscent of Chris Tucker’s legendary scene in the cult smoker’s classic movie “Friday.” Although no one would confuse Rose with Janet Jackson or Freddie Jackson, the dialogue is equally appropriate.

“You gonna call me?” a hypothetical Jalen Rose would say in pursuit of raising more money for his good cause, Operation Graduation.

“I’m going to call you. But if you come by, I won’t call you, OK?” “Jeopardy!” should respond from now on. “Don’t ever, ever — ever, ever, ever — come by here. OK?”

“OK. All right,” a dejected Rose would reply. “Bye, ‘Jeopardy!’”

On Sunday night, Rose went head-to-head against the “Fresh Off the Boat” actress Constance Wu and actor Ike Barinholtz, known for his roles in “Neighbors,” “The Mindy Project,” and “Eastbound & Down.” However, like the famed leafy green from Friday, Rose was smoked.

At first, the show started out promising for Rose, who was on point out of the gate, keeping up with his fellow competitors and accurately answering three of his first four questions. However, if this were the hardwood, that would have been considered a fast break. Rose missed two of his subsequent three attempts and ultimately ended the opening round in second place with only $500.

For the always stylish Detroit native, that is the equivalent of one barbershop session Bejing black dye application. Not enough to fulfill the mission, but Rose continued.

In the Americana category, Rose botched questions answers like “what is the New England state known for chowder, old money, and being the home of TV’s ‘Gilmore Girls,’” with the answer, “New England.”

No, Jalen, they aren’t going to make it that easy for you, Bruh. The correct question was, “what is Connecticut” but a respectable answer would have been Massachusetts, Rhode Island, or even Maine; hell, he could have said Vermont, just not the region, but we digress.

Additionally, the show tossed out another answer which “asked for a synonym for buffet,” and Rose answered, “buffet.” Something told the viewing audience that Rose might not have sat at Nana’s house long enough and become a “Jeopardy!” savant like many others of the culture.

Now he showed his skills with answers like, “known as the little blue pill, its been suggested audaciously that some men might use it for recreation, not procreation,” Rose said correctly, “Viagra.” His competitors blundered badly on the obvious. However, Rose did finish the night horribly for his charity, with the final score looking like Ike Barinholtz taking home $46,001 with 51 correct and none incorrect. Constance Wu landed at a big fat $0 despite having 23 correct and seven incorrect, and Rose also came in at $0 with four correct and five incorrect.

Wu had $23,000 going into Final Jeopardy compared to Rose, who entered the final stanza with a disappointing -$1,300. Still, the show blessed his charity with a consolation prize of a thousand dollars for the last question, which he lost.

The world loves Jalen Rose for being part of the Fab Five, an NBA legend, and awesome sports broadcaster, but stay off those game shows, Jalen, its so not you.

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