In Asking For Forgiveness, Rae Carruth Shows Little Change

    Forgiveness. Its one of those attributes that most of society agrees makes us better human beings. Indeed, to be able to let go of the pain and resentment that being perpetually wronged causes to well up deep within us, is arduous. Sometimes forgiveness goes against everything else we hold dear; against our pride, against our righteous indignation and against our personal view of how we deserve to be treated.  

    Whenever I watch a television conference featuring the family of an innocent black or brown citizen who has been killed by police, I expect there to be a weeping family member, a religious leader of some sort at their side, to go before the world and pronounce forgiveness for an officer who, in most cases, has given the offended party no reason to forgive.  

    With that being said, Im also aware that it is just unhealthy to coddle the burning pain of unrequited punishment deep into our bosom. This pain is not only physically and mentally uncomfortable, but psychologically damaging. Though it doesnt appear so to the offended at the time, forgiveness generally in the best interest of the forgiver, whether some getback is gotten, or not.

    Clarence Hill Jr on Twitter

    hmmm https://t.co/H74xK6lppF

    In 2001, star Carolina Panthers wide-receiver and former 1997 first round draft pick Rae Carruth was convicted in the murder of Cherica Adams.  The 24-year-old was pregnant with Carruths child, who he hoped to kill with his attack as well. Why? Child support. So callous, so petty. Carruth was also convicted of shooting into an occupied dwelling and using an instrument to destroy an unborn child. He was found not guilty of the first-degree murder charge.

    Mugshots: Rae Carruth – NFL Hitman

    Click here to watch great FREE Movies & TV: http://filmrise.com On the night of November 16, 1999, Cherica Adams, the girlfriend of NFL star Rae Carruth, was shot four times in a drive-by shooting. Adams was seven months pregnant with Carruth’s baby when the shooting occurred.

    He was sentenced to 18 to 24 years in prison and is scheduled to be released this fall. Carruths son, Chancellor Lee Adams, is now 18-years-old, suffers from cerebral palsy and is being raised by his grandmother Saundra Adams.

    To raise a special needs child is to dig deep into ones character on a daily, if not hourly, basis. Despite the many trials that come with being the guardian to a special needs person, most of us simply do what needs to be done without need for accolades of acknowledgement.  Now, as Rae Carruths prepares to be released from jail in the fall, the person responsible for most the pain and loss that young Chancellor has suffered in his life now wants to be a permanent part of the rest of his life. 

    Though he has only met Chancellor twice, Carruth says he has been keeping up on Chancellor through newspaper and television stories that feature his sons struggles and triumph and requested to be an ongoing part of his life after he is released.

    In an open letter to Saundra Adams that was sent to WBTV Charlotte, Carruth tries to reveal his version of what went down. At this point, such an apology is inconsequential. No one is going to be healed by the energy of his admission. So, at the end of the day, it appears as if the only relief hes trying to give is to himself.

    Saturday afternoon, the phone rang in the WBTV conference room. The recording announced a call from the Sampson Correctional Institution.

    I feel like if I did it in the open, it would put an end to the lies. If I say publicly, Ms. Adams, I apologize, Ms. Adams, I take responsibility for what happened, that she can no longer get on television and do an interview and say Rae has never apologized to me, Carruth said during  a call from Sampson Correctional Institution to WBTV.

    Carruth refused to answer specific question regarding the death of Cherica, and one cant really blame him for that.

    Im apologizing for the loss of her daughter. Im apologizing for the impairment of my son, Carruth said. I feel responsible for everything that happened. And I just want her to know that truly I am sorry for everything.

    If I could change anything, Id change the whole situation. His mother would still be here and I wouldnt be where Im at. So thats what Id want to change. I want the incident to never have happened at all, he said.

    Sins Of A Father – Rae Carruth

    Hoe ass nigga

    But, sometimes, it just better to just shut up. 

    In the letter, Carruth claims he and the murder victim were not in a relationship, that they just hooked up a few timesas if that matters right now!

    Carruth admits he brought up the possibility of abortion when Cherica told him she might be pregnant. But according to him, he never broached the subject again once she expressed her desire to keep the child.

    I let him down as he came into this world and the only way that I can make that right and the only way I can work out my relationship with my son is to be there for him, Carruth said.

    Chaundra Adams has said she plans to be at the prison gates with Chancellor the moment Carruth is released in past interviews and has stated she is open to the two having a relationship.

    I should be raising my son. His mother should be raising her son. Ms. Adams should not be doing this and I want that responsibility back, he wrote in the letter. I feel like he might not ever have his mother in his life but he could still have me and I could still make a difference and I dont think thats anyones responsibility when Im still here.