Chicago Bears Give New Meaning To 50 Cent


The Chicago Bears are one of the NFL’s oldest and most celebrated franchises and on Sunday night they made the record books again—by continuing a run of ineptitude that’s reached historic proportions.

Chicago’s 55-14 ass-shellacking at the hands of NFC North rival Green Bay Packers (6-3) on Sunday night made the Bears—who had hoped to get their season back on track with an emphatic win over Aaron Rodgers’ squad—the perpetrators and victims of a few NFL records.

None of which exemplifies the defensive principles and philosophies this franchise was built upon starting with its iconic founder/owner George “Papa Bear” Stanley Halas, Sr., who passed in October of 1983.

The Bears allowed more than 50 points for the second consecutive game, becoming the first NFL team since the 1923 Rochester Jeffersons to accomplish the feat.


Surviving members of the 1985 Bears (a Top 3 All-Time defense) Super Bowl squad are probably holding private meetings in an attempt to come up with a defensive game plan.  

By halftime, Walter Payton had turned off the 700-inch HD screen he was watching the game on in heaven. Gayle Sayers was somewhere throwing footballs at his projector screen. Rodgers (like Ben Roethlisberger did for two consecutive weeks ) threw six TD passes to tie a franchise game record. The scores also matched the NFL mark for a half.

The 42-0 deficit was the second-widest halftime lead in NFL history. The 2009 Patriots led the Tennessee Titans 45-0 at halftime.

The Bears sunk to 3-6. Despite being loaded with offensive weapons, QB Jay Cutler has been shaky, inconsistent and careless with the ball. He hasn’t resembled the $126 million, gun-slinging 4,000 yard Super Bowl–caliber QB the Bears gave $54 million guaranteed bucks too. Coach Marc Trestman has lost touch with the defensive foundation of the franchise and two weeks after giving up 38 points in the first half in a 51-23 loss to New England, the Chi-Town media is calling for the second-year coach’s dome.

Steve Rosenbloom of the Chicago Tribune acted as a boisterous and agitated and embarrassed mouthpiece for Bears Nation and had this to say shortly after the debacle.

“Trestman deserves it. Bears fans deserve to see him whacked. What happened on Sunday night in front of God and NBC was a pathetic excuse for preparation and execution by a coach who has become a disaster at preparing his team to execute.

The Bears organization, however, deserves to see Trestman stay because those wonks are too stupid to know how awful this is. If they cared, they’d have listened to me when I screamed that Trestman should’ve been canned after the Dolphins game. Certainly after the Patriots game.

But no. Nobody at the toxic waste dump that is Halas Hall did a thing about it. Bears wonks have a high tolerance for being a laughingstock, as we all know.”

Rodgers was more than happy to be the instigator of one colossal comedy-fest. He was on his discount double check, chin-wreck early as he completed 18 of 27 tosses for 315 yards, throwing touchdown passes of 73 and 40 yards to Jordy Nelson, who is now officially the best white boy wide receiver of his generation. No offense to Wes Welker.

“We just kind of got things going our way,” Rodgers said. “The line did a good job of giving me time to extend plays. If you extend plays, you look down the field and there’s Jordy Nelson. He made some nice catches.”

Rodgers tied the Packers team touchdown pass record that he shared with Matt Flynn and matched the NFL record for a half set by Oakland’s Daryle Lamonica in 1969. The 55 points tied a Packers record at Lambeau Field.

At this point in the season the old rivals, previously having met 190 times, seem to be moving in two opposite directions and Chi-Town’s Bears have entered a no man’s land with no identity and no explanations for their failures. Wide receiver Brandon Marshall feels like he’s in a Geto Boys video this season. The team’s performance on the field is not reflecting the talent on the roster.

“I’m confused, brother. I’m confused. … We’re just not very good right now,”  Marshall said. “It’s a shame to have to say that, but sitting at 3-6, it’s tough. It’s very, very, very disappointing.”

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