Sports journalists Joy Taylor and Taylor Rooks are being honest about what they look for in their romantic partners.
One rule: you must have friendships with women. For some men, this sounds like a license to flirt, but in reality, they are looking for a boyfriend, not a bro-friend.
“I don’t want to date a man who only gets input from other men and who has all women in two categories, your mother or your aunties or someone I want to sleep with,” said Joy Taylor on their podcast “Two Personal.” “You have to have a broader spectrum on women and their value in your life if you’re going to be with me.”
There has been an amplification of male-centric conversations about romantic partnerships. Many men follow the viral teachings of online personalities like the late Kevin Samuels or the Hotep variants exemplified by men like Dr. Umar Ifatunde (Johnson). Both have critical views on women and relationships, and their adherents are but a microcosm of the more prominent conversations men have with men about women.
To Taylor and Rooks, that’s a relationship red flag.
“Only getting information and opinions from other men sounds terrifying. So I encourage that you not be what anybody does ever,” added Taylor Rooks. “But you’re totally right, because the more we keep talking about can you have friends of the opposite sex, the more I start feeling like everybody is like primal animals in a zoo.”
“I’m not going to tell my partner, you can’t be around women,” she continued. “Because if I feel like I have to tell you that, what does that say about what I think you’re like when I’m not with you? That I can’t trust you to be around women [platonically], I would say that says more about my choices and who I’m with, because I’m never going to feel like I have to control you or I have to monitor the friendships that you are in.”
Note to all men who want to step into J. Taylor or T. Rooks: Make sure you have other women who are your platonic friends. It’s a great start toward getting past, at minimum, one barrier to date.
