The NFL’s Darryl Dawkins Is Responsible For New Goal Post Dunking Celebration Penalty

We knew the NFL was discussing field goals more than anyone had in half a century during the owner's meetings, but the issues being discussed were tangible concerns such as moving extra points back and extending the field goal uprights another five yards to aid the process of determining whether field goals were good or not.

The NFL is heading down a dull precipice. On Tuesday, NFL Head of Officials Dean Blandino told the Dan Patrick Show that next season, dunking the ball over goalposts will constitute an excessive celebration penalty. Blandino is an appropriate nickname for the bland product that is beginning to get peddled out by droll Commissioner Bland.

This seems like odd timing. Goal post dunking isn't an issue that people knew was on the docket or of concern to a single soul with a fun bone in his body. Unless Adam Silver personally emailed Goodell and the league owners about their players infringing upon the NBA's product, I have my suspicions about where this misguided rule change ostensibly originated from. 

In a few years, the only emotional outlet players will be permitted to resort to once they score touchdowns will involve them gingerly walking to the sideline single file, shaking the head coaches hand, retreating to their individual cubicles and creating audio stimulation that the hushed tea and crumpets Downton Abbey crowd isn't providing by throwing on Beats by Dre headphones.

Guess, we'll never get to see Jimmy Graham attempt the first goalpost trick dunk over a teammate.

The whole purpose of the rule change is presumably to keep players and fans safe from Graham toppling goalposts like Darryl Dawkins damaging old school backboards. When Dawkins fell from Planet Lovetron and shattered earthly backboards, Commissioner Larry O'Brien began fining Dawkins as a repeat offender instead of the entire league and shatterproof rims were developed to dead the entire argument. Graham is the NFL's modern day Darryl Dawkins.

From now on, they just gotta celebrate like a late night at Miami's King of Diamonds. No touching.

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