The Dime: Week 16

Here are ten thoughts from Week 16 action.

1. Megatron’s Milestone – Congrats, Calvin Megatron Johnson. You’ve dominated the league and broke Jerry Rice’s receiving record of 1,848 yards in a single season, a record that stood since 1995. On Saturday, Johnson had 11 catches for 225 yards to give him 1,892 yards. Yo Megatron, you know what’s next though? Get that 108 yards against the Packers next week to hit 2K for the season. We can call you the real CJ2K, because that other guy checked out after he cashed his check. It sucks that Johnson picked a bad year to have a great year because the Lions have been playing like the Wizard of Oz Lion.

2. Rookie of the Year Candidate 1 – Mr. Russell Wilson…you’re not supposed to be doing this. You were drafted in the third round. You’re playing in the NFC. You’ve faced the 49ers defense twice and held your own. Hell, last night you made them look like a JV squad. You remind me of Paul Pierce when he, Vince Carter and Jason Williams were in a three way battle for the 1998 NBA Rookie of the Year race. You may not have the highlight reel plays of Luck or RGIII, but that damn cagey, old man, vet game is all in your DNA.

3. Rookie of the Year Candidate 2 – Mr. RGIII you are balling, sir. Your critics have smiles on their faces, but so do you. In April they all said, RGIII isn’t going to be as good as Andrew Luck. This is where you come in and whisper…”you’re right bitches….I’m better.” A 104.1 QBR, 20 TDs with only 5 picks — that stat line is prettier than a Playboy Playmate. Now, young man, just learn how to slide and your critics will have nothing to smile about. You remind me of Vince Carter when he, Jason Williams and Paul Pierce were in a three way battle for the 1998 NBA Rookie of the Year race. Every game you play, you dominate the highlights on SportsCenter.

4. Rookie of the Year Candidate 3 – Bruh-bruh, so you’re just going to take the worst team in the NFL last year and take them into the playoffs in your first year — with no other stars around you? Luck has everything to do with it. People can say RGIII is better than you all they want and point to the numbers – your 21 TDs and 18 picks against his 20/5 – but you’ve thrown the ball 599 times this season to his 375 times. You remind me of Jason Williams when he, Vince Carter and Paul Pierce were in a three way battle for the 1998 NBA Rookie of the Year race. Every game you play, you make a pass that we didn’t think was humanly possible.

5. The Substitute Teacher – The Saints lose their head coach and go 0-4, team in shambles. The Colts lose their coach after four games and interim head coach, Bruce Arians, steps in, wins nine games and takes the team to the playoffs only to hand the team back over to head coach Chuck Pagano, this week. I don’t know a damn thing about being a surrogate mother, but my imagination tells me this situation is the NFL’s version of it.

6. #TheChaseFor2106

The race for Adrian Peterson to break Eric Dickerson’s rushing record of 2,105 yards looks grim. The race to become the 7th player to rush for 2,000 yards is a foregone conclusion. A.D. needs 208 yards to break Dickerson’s record and 102 yards to hit 2K. He plays the Packers next, and the last time he played them he went for 210 yards.

7. Wildcat, WTF??? – Mr. Team Player 3000, Tim Tebow, took his ball and went home. He reportedly told the Jets he didn’t want to play this past Sunday, if he wasn’t going to get a shot at QB. The Jets chose to start Clipboard QB Greg McElroy over Tebow. Tim might have an argument, McElroy was sacked 11 times yesterday and not all of it was the offensive line’s fault.

8. Disciplined, Determined, Dedicated, Dominant Dez Bryant – To quote the great Jay-Z, “Men lie, women lie, numbers don’t. In the past five games 46 catches, 808 yards and 10 touchdowns. No other receiver has put up numbers even close to that. Looks like Dez has finally grown up.

9. Corey Webster – You looked like a flame-broiled whiskey chaser last night, bruh. You were trending on Twitter and that’s never good. You were the man when you came out of college, and now you’re “that one guy.” I’ve seen jump-offs leave the game with more dignity. Every single damn offensive player on the Ravens roster got off on you, sir. New York Football Giant you are not. New York Football midget you are.

10. Todd Haley – Mr. Haley, get over yourself. Yes, you did a tremendous job with the Cardinals as their offensive coordinator during their Super Bowl run. But you are the reason the Chiefs are the dumpster fire they are today. You are also the reason the Steelers aren’t making the playoffs, this year. Last year, the Steelers ranked 12th in the NFL in total offense. This year, they rank 21st. You’re calling the plays, take the responsibility. Work with what you’ve got in Ben Roethlisberger who has won two Super Bowls. Don’t make him into a QB that you want him to be.

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