Sterling’s Girlfriend V. Stiviano: Gold Digger or Survivor?

People often give gut reaction names to women like Los Angeles born Vivian Stiviano (Born Vanessa Perez), the now infamous “ex-girlfriend” of racist Clippers owner Donald Sterling.

She has many aliases including Maria Valdez and Monica Gallegos. But some call her “gold digger.” Others say “hoe” or “whore.” A few would throw in “slut,” describing her as a money-hungry, high priced hooker-type chick that sites like have gone on the record admitting to paying in exchange for juicy, loose-lipped tidbits on the hotel tactics of the world’s biggest stars. Karrine Steffans, also known as “Superhead,” is one of these women. She documented details of personal escapades chasing the rich and famous in her 2005 best seller “Confessions of a Video Vixen” and as a result achieved her own notorious mark in the museum of not so natural-looking gold digger history. But that was yesterday, in the 80s, 90s, and early 2000 when Steffans slept with everyone from Kool G. Rap to Shaq. The 31-year-old Stiviano, in many people’s eyes, appears to have upgraded the game to the 3.0 version heading past the players and straight to their bosses and owners. Steffans came off with some royalties for all of her sexual revelations, while Stiviano has reportedly received a Ferrari, two Bentley's, Range Rover and a $1.4 million apartment for her loyalties. 

But sex in exchange for money is nothing new, with prostitution like tactics being dustier than Sterling’s back account. And while many of these females who possess a skanky, “survival” mentality are popular among the elite circles of those mostly married men with new and old money, few are as infamously celebrated as Steffans was or Stiviano now has become.

Those moguls with fat, green wallets are quite familiar with chicks who consciously seek a hefty bank account. Hiding behind blinding beauty, they use their jaw-dropping looks, bodacious body, and a masterly cunning ability to pet a man’s puppy-like, impressionable ego. Adept at giving addictive ego strokes and blissful massages, they’re skilled in assisting chosen men in releasing tension that often leads to mind staggering sexual healing.  

None of these women are dumb. They’re actually highly-skilled in the art of manipulation and exploiting the silly, insecure, weak minds of those who get an ego boost from having a hot-bodied feminine accessory.  And these female players are happy to accept the role and walk a path that will hopefully lead her to win the chess-like, gold digger game that’ll potentially sit her atop his throne.

The smartest ones will start at the head – both of them.

Beginning at the top, she’ll use ego massaging that makes his boy wonder insecurity feel like Superman. And then she slowly works down to his second head, knowing the powerful prize she has, arching over like a bright rainbow and offering him easy, joyful access to her glistening pot of vaginal gold. Using these repeated actions of being everlastingly open to the realm of freakdom, eventually her secretions soak into his heart, softening the muscle with injections of what can often feel like a love drug.

Some will know the difference, staying emotionally detached with back minded “too easy to be wifey” reminders. While the weaker ones will equate lustful feelings with thoughts of Valentine’s shaped candy hearts floating in distracting afternoon daydreams. They’ll reward her for hard bodied sweaty anytime, anyway sex with “allowances” equated to crisp cash, luxury vacations, designer shopping sprees, and anything in exchange for docile acts and freaky open legged physicalities that perhaps a man’s wife cannot give, won’t do, or is simply too many miles away to help relieve his impatiently entitled, need-it-now, disloyal yearnings.

These women are nearly always beauty pageant modeling types, often long haired, typically thick bodied, ethnically ambiguous "redbones." Some of these females actually study how to get wealthy men. Take Paula Patton’s character in the 2012 film Just Wright. She didn’t work, but instead put all of her waking moment effort into building a visionary board with the goal of marrying a NBA player. She diligently read gossip rags, stacked up glossy magazines, and studied the kinds of ladies that managed to marry ball players with large multi-million dollar bank accounts.

But that was just a movie. In reality a lot of these types of women do have jobs. Some are celebrities themselves. Others hold high ranking positions that give them access to men in tight knit wealthy circles. And they all have one thing in common: Marrying a rich man.

The problem with the gold digger type is that most will only get the man in the short run. They rarely keep him for the marathon, remaining the side chick, lowest on the totem pole of life’s priorities, way below the wife and family.  

And when the man at hand eventually wakes up and can limp his way out of the foggy blur of seduction that her worn out spell had once cast upon him, he opens his eyes, regains control, and reminds her of who she really is: The side chick.

The repercussions of this selfish act – where he will begin to ignore and hint at needing to “break up” with her – come from being bored by the lack of variety she presents with her utter regularity and availability. Or from her breaking the rules of being a docile, understanding, down-to-have-fun, cheerleading Stepford wife. This is the role she played to get him. She loses him by becoming difficult or a needy, clingy, wannabe queen. 

When he says it’s over, emotional overload sets in. And even for the most mentally agile woman who knows how to separate the head and heart, eventually she will react in knowing that she is at the bottom of the to-do list. This revelation might take months or years. But when the awakening occurs, she’ll see the emotional connection her “boyfriend” has with his wife, and will be painfully reminded of why he put a ring on #1 for the long run, and not her – the #2, #3, or #4. This will often result in her angrily lashing out in a myriad of ways – some passive, others quite aggressive. But what will follow is usually a stereotypical display of feminine fury that can be felt with tremors vibrating across the globe.

I’m not saying this is what happened in idiot Donald Sterling’s situation. Who knows what was really going on in his relationship with Stiviano? Maybe they were in love. Perhaps he was going to leave his wife. I’m not saying Stiviano is one of these gold digging women as a fact. Although she does disappointingly appear that way, being way too comfortable and unapologetic in her mistress role which will make the media, most men, some women, and Sterling’s wife paint her to be how she presents herself – a man stealing gold digger.

Either way, the California aftershock that has come in the leaked recording between Sterling and Stiviano to TMZ will be felt for weeks. If you listen to it carefully, it’s essentially a lovers’ quarrel. At times, Stiviano sounds legitimately genuine, apologizing and frowning through the 10 minute snippet. At others, she comes off like a rehearsed actress (“artist, lover, writer, chef, poet, stylist and philanthropist” she calls herself on Instagram) giving a well-practiced monologue-like moment, injecting purrs in saying, “…you love me.”

Stiviano admits to taping the talk, saying 80-year-old Sterling told her to record things so he’d remember. But she vehemently denies leaking this audio to the public. Now of course she has to say this, facing possible legal repercussions if found to have illegally recorded Sterling and released it to the world. Guilt in either of the accusations could cause her to give back all of the prized possessions given by him, amounting to a rumored $2.5 million over the course of their 4 year relationship. And even if she gets off on the tape release claims, she still will have to face the legal wrath of Sterling’s scorned wife who is suing Stiviano. Playing the role of the blind supportive spouse calling the mistress an embezzler, Sterling’s wife of 50 years, Rochelle, claims V. “tricked” her dear Don into giving a million dollar apartment and cars. Stiviano denies this as well.

But the reality is that all of this is a distraction. Because as Don spoke further on that tape, and dug himself into a sinking hole, it became more about the inner dark workings of Sterling’s true blood bubbling to the top and boiling over into what has heated NBA players and fans alike. Sterling’s now public thoughts on his disdain for black people coming to Clippers games and popping up on his alleged side chick’s Instagram page all make one thing about V. Stiviano clear: She was karma in human form.

Besides allegedly cheating on his wife, Don had always disliked black people. In 2006, the department of justice brought a suit against his real estate company accusing Sterling of refusing housing to African Americans in Los Angeles. The suit was settled with Don never admitting guilt. After this news hit, he appears to have attempted at covering it up by making donations to the LA branch of the NAACP, who happily accepted by “forgiving” his misgivings like a so-called “good Christian” would do. At least that’s according to what NAACP president Leon Jenkins claimed in Monday’s press conference. Still, it’s as if Sterling’s incidents were kicked under the rug with those in the know – like the NBA – fully aware of his tainted ways. In 2009, he was accused of wrongfully terminating legendary player Elgin Baylor who said Sterling had a “plantation mentality” referring to his tendency and comfort in regularly making racist remarks. And now, thanks to V. Stiviano (allegedly), Sterling has been exposed to the entire world for the bigoted idiot that most in the NBA knew he’d always been.

But if he hates black people so much, why was he spending millions on a girl who is half Black and Mexican? Maybe because she didn’t fully look like a minority, appearing more Latino and white to his liking. Maybe he was subconsciously playing out history again taking on the role of a slave owner fiending for the “exotic” sista, lusting over that which he says he hates.

We saw this in 12 Years a Slave, Mr. Epps “luxuriating” over Patsey, both prizing her while beating and raping his “favorite” to the jealous, furious, scowls of his wife. And let’s not forget Strom Thurman. Known for being a leader of segregation, years after his death he was revealed to have a secret biracial daughter that he financially provided for throughout her life. Genetic history shows that many in the African American community have percentages of white blood that often attributes to a fair skin tone. Some of this comes as a result of ancestors who were raped by slave owners, and in a few rare cases where masters actually loved and married their “merchandise.” But this all is a history lesson that digresses from the focus at hand in 2014: Donald Sterling and V. Stiviano.

If ever proven true, was she wrong for what Sterling’s wife accuses her of doing? Of making gold digger moves, appearing to have found her survival in leeching millions off an old, stupid, wealthy man, using and abusing him to her advantage? Absolutely. Anna Nicole Smith was hated and accused of doing the same. But does this take Sterling off the hook and excuse him from the disgusting choices, prejudiced words, and ways of thinking he harbors against minorities? No.

All truth comes to light. And in this dark hour for the Clippers and NBA, LA’s bright sun and glare of paparazzi flashes are on full spotlight that cannot be outshined by the glistening beauty of even the most skilled and practiced gold digger. The truth we know is simple: Donald Sterling is a raving racist reaping from the embarrassing effects of his ill ways. Karma is a bitch.


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