St. Jetersberg Has More Estate Secrets Than North Korea Has State Secrets

Derek Jeter is one of the most mysterious athletes in modern pro sports. At a time when athletes have opened their entire lives up to the public, let us into their homes (thanks, MTV Cribs) and joined Twitter to bypass the media and relay their messages to the masses, Jeter remains elusive without being reclusive.

He’s probably as promiscuous as Wilt Chamberlain, but he has no children, none of his exes speak publicly about him and the New York media has never accused him of being gay. He’s living the dream. His stringent home policy gives us a peek into how he keeps his personal life from descending into tabloid fodder.

Via NYPost Page 6:

We’re told the famously private Yankee has a basket in the foyer of his 30,875-square-foot, multimillion dollar Davis Island home, dubbed by locals “St. Jetersburg.” All guests are expected to plunk down their camera phones before entering his castle.

“He points and says, ‘Phones go there,’ so no one can take pictures inside his house,” says a source.

So what is Jeter hiding on his 31,000 square foot palatial mansion? We have a few theories.

– 50,000 copies of Bernie Williams’ solo contemporary jazz albums

– Red Sox memorabilia

– A Houston Astros voodoo doll. The Astros have been one of baseball’s worst franchises since they passed on Jeter with the first overall pick.

– incriminating evidence on New York Post and Daily News gossip columnists.

– He's hiding Jeff Bezo's Amazon brain trust and Kobe Bryant's German orthopedic surgeon as they experiment on a revolutionary surgery to repair his ankle.

– George Steinbrenner's consciousness holding him hostage through the use of a sentient machine until the Yankees win another World Series

– A cape and cowl. Seriously, if he also has a live-in septuagenarian butler with a smart mouth, I'm sold on this one.

– A mobile phone based surveillance system to monitor New York City.