Please Have Several Seats: R&B Beef


Chris Brown is one angry balladeer. That makes him interesting, to me. It’s too bad he was born when he was.  Had he been born 20 years or so earlier, he might have been LL Cool J (the ultimate aggressive pretty-boy), beefin’ with Kool Moe Dee and Mike Tyson. Instead, Brown is an R&B dude, beefin' with other R&B dudes, like Drake and Frank Ocean.

The very idea of R&B Beef is exceedingly laughable, but it also angers me. Irritates me on all levels. TMZ reported Chris and Ocean were involved in an “all-out brawl.” Word, families? What, did these dudes start cracking Nuvo bottles over each other’s heads? Who started this charade? I bet a few of the crooners' cronies were “gone off the Moscato” and started talking reckless. Your falsetto ain't the truth, shawty!

The kicker — what sent me over the edge — was this tidbit: apparently, after Frank blocked the door (!), he declared, “This is my studio, this is my parking spot." That sounds like beginning of a "scuffle scene" from Saved By The Bell. Here's a few seats, fellas. Take a load off.

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