First of all, let me address something, Gronk. You, Robert James Gronkowski, are not from Pittsburgh. I don't know who was responsible for that stunt on the Sunday night telecast. You grew up in Amherst, a Buffalo suburb. You went to North Williamsville High School. You didn't move to the 'Burgh until your senior year of high school. But we'll chalk it up to an NBC production error, because, we know you're not trying to disown us Buffalonians. Even if you were, though, your dense, slurred, brickheaded Western New York accent won't let you.
With that said…in the third week of the 2011 fantasy season, you caught seven passes for 109 yards and two touchdowns. That's good for about 34 points in a PPR league. Granted, that came against the Bills (no love for your hometown) – which couldn't rush a Limbaugh, much less a pro quarterback — and not the Ravens, but still. In fact, when you faced the Ravens last season, you still managed a serviceable five catches for 87 yards.
But what's with this two catches, 21-yard biz? Ray Lewis is a legend, but he can't have your number, like that. Get that ish together, homie. Do you need to have a convo with Tom Brady? Then have that convo. If he tries to sass you, let him know what it is. He's from San Mateo. I know how we get down in WNY – Brady doesn't want it.