Do The Crime Where You Know You Can Do The Time

When you want to research a Mexican restaurant or a deli in your area, Yelp is one of the most prominent review sites on the web to visit. You've got questions; Yelp has answers. However, if you're ever about to do time, or cop a plea deal and you need to find an optimal prison setting, Yelp may have what you and court-appointed attorney need. After all, if you’re going to do a bid, you might as well be prepared for what's ahead.

What the prison library selection is like, how many cents per minute internet connection is, and how sociable the guards and prison population are, among other questions. Unless you're Martha Stewart, handpicking your incarceration site is not a viable option for the general public, but if you're going to commit a crime, it may give you a better idea about which jurisdiction to do it in.

The Washington Post has more info.

As Yelp grows more popular — logging 36 million reviews as of last quarter — lawyers as well as prison inmates and their family members have turned to the site to report mediocre food and allegations of serious abuse. They join the enterprising reviewers who have used Yelp to critique traffic signals and public bathrooms.

Because Yelp does not break out statistics by business type, it’s difficult to tell how many jails and prisons have been reviewed in the 19 countries covered by the site. (Yelp declined to comment for this article, aside from noting that users may review any business with a physical address, as long as the review follows site guidelines.) In the Washington region, six incarceration facilities have earned reviews, including two in 2013.

“Jail food may get a bad rap . . . but jail EMPLOYEE food is off the chain,” wrote one woman of a local jail cafeteria, where $1.50 apparently buys a plate of chicken, green beans, wheat bread, dessert and fresh, not instant, mashed potatoes.

“At no time did the officer violate any of my constitutional privileges and even gave me a juice box after I said I was thirsty,” reads another review, this one of the Arlington County Detention Facility. “Yes, you heard right, they have juice boxes! . . . So if you’re going to get arrested, do it in Arlington County.”

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